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Philosophical Conundrum

// January 6th, 2009 // 8 Comments » // Buddhism, Health

Well, really, it isn’t a conundrum.  I’m just being bad, and I know it.  But I need some kind of guidance, or another sensible voice to chime in and help me along.  My problem is simple: drugs.  I’m not saying I’m a crack addict or anything, it’s nothing like that.  It’s a very basic, simple conflict of principle that I’m wrestling with.  Let me elaborate.

photo by sissyboystud

For the past several years, I’ve fought back pain.  The past couple years have been worse than normal.  Worse to the point that I’ve started having trouble managing it.  It’s slowing me down, limiting my activities, affecting my mood, and disrupting my sleep.  Late last year I flexed my job benefits and broke down enough to see a doctor.  I don’t see doctors.  I can only recollect one other time I’ve gone for a problem, when I got a throat infection about three years ago.  The doctor was fairly helpful, and among other things, prescribed a pain killer.  Hydrocodone.  It worked great.  While it obviously does nothing to fix the problem, it numbed the pain, helped me sleep, and generally allowed me to gather myself.  I am not addicted (so far), let me be clear about that.  That’s not the issue.

The issue is Buddhism.  When I decided this was clearly the right thing for me, I really tried to subscribe to it through and through.  This was about three or four years ago, and I’ve been more successful in some areas than others.  I never did drugs or anything before that, but I did drink.  I was young, and generally that’s what guys do when you’re young and get together.  Since then, I’ve not touched alcohol.  It was tough at first, now it’s not an issue, sort of.  I say sort of because the pain lately had me literally on the edge of saying screw it, getting drunk would be preferable to the pain.  That scared me.  The fact that I was nearly willing to throw away a principle that I have given myself to so thoroughly was part of what got me to the doctor.

So now here I am, taking hydrocodone.  The conflict arises from the principle that Buddhists abstain from mind altering substances.  Some people even argue that one should avoid things like caffiene.  The mind, above all, is to be cherished.  Cultivating good mindfulness is paramount to the religion, as that is the path to Truth and nirvana.  I know that ultimately I shouldn’t take these on that premise.  A prescription drug is no different from an illicit one just because it’s legal, they both have equal power to take control of your mind away from you.  But if I don’t, I’m in pain, and that on it’s own is “mind altering,” in my opinion.  When pain so totally affects your life, it’s hard to see through clearly, and I’m nowhere near having meditation techniques that can block it out.  I can offer a million rationalizations, and I know that none of them stand.  The fact is that I feel guilty about the whole situation.

I’m not sure what I need.  I want someone to tell me that I’m making the right choice, but that might not be what I actually need.  The fact is, I’m pretty sure I’m wrong, but I’m afraid of the alternative.  Suffering is a base principle of Buddhism, and I am dealing with it in a very basic fashion: physical suffering.  I feel like I need guidance for this issue, because the whole situation has left me unable to get my bearings and find the right path.  I’ve lost my mindfulness, and as a result feel exposed and unarmored, and it’s that kind of sign that tells me I’m making poor choices on this matter.  I know this might sound silly to a lot of people, you’ll just say “Take the pills if they make you feel better, and work on getting better.”  But for 96% of Americans, their religion doesn’t really get in the way of this kind of treatment.  So help me, guide me.

Blogged Meditation 6

// January 12th, 2008 // No Comments » // Buddhism

The fundamental idea of Buddhism is to pass beyond the world of opposites, a world built up by intellectual distinctions and emotional defilements. – D.T. Suzuki…

A new reflection on a meditation concept is long past due I think. Yesterday evening I went up to St. Mary’s Colgan to lend a hand at their forensics work night. I met a nice young lady there that I got to talk to her for a few minutes regarding what it means to be Buddhist, and how its philosophy is not mutually exclusive from other religions. In having that conversation, it just reminded me how important education is. And more so, communication. We can do more good just talking and listening to other people than almost anything else.  In that way, I need to talk more I think.

Anyway, none of that is actually my point. My point is up in the first couple lines. By the way, I pull these handy quotes from an RSS feed through amidabuddha.org. As much as I wish I was smart enough to pull pieces of wisdom like that out of my head on demand, I cannot. Give me a few days, I’ll see if I can do better.

It seems like today, as in the present, we are becoming ever more attached to binary concepts. By that I mean if something is right, something else must be wrong. If one person is lucky, another is unlucky. You are liberal, or conservative. Morlock or Eloi.  As analytical beings, we like the idea that concepts are absolute. It can be hard to reconcile gray areas when we are weighing pros and cons (another binary idea!). But the truth is that everything is gray. What is unlucky for you one day could turn in to great luck the next. Life is all about balance. Kharma keeps events in constant flux so that things essentially always stay neutrally balanced.  Bad events aren’t happening to you to screw you over, they are just events, happening in the natural flow of life the way they must to remain in equilibrium.

The idea of the Yin and Yang is a Chinese philosophy rooted in the concept of the unity of opposites. On the hand that everything has what amounts to a positive and negative component, I would have to disagree.  There is no binary.  Again, the goal is to see beyond that kind of polarity, and to understand that things are exactly how they need to be, regardless of labels of perception.  However, the fruit of the philosophy is sound. That idea that the whole is comprised of the parts, that to be positive, something must have a negative component, and in that way the subject is balanced, is a good way to view a world of opposites. It gives it context and allows us a way to better grasp the concept that we might call something good or bad, in reality it is neither. In a way, by understanding the words and concepts of the opposites, you can destroy your precepts that they actually exist.  Once you see the wall, you can proceed to scale and pass it.  Once you are past it, the wall is no longer a factor that must be included in the equation.

Will Smith recently came under fire for a comment he made about Hitler.  To paraphrase, he said basically that as bad as Hitler was, he didn’t wake up each morning thinking “What’s the most evil thing that I can do today?”  The point being that under his philosophy of thinking, he was not the bad guy.  Perception is the problem.  How can good and evil exist when the very gauges by which such things are measured are in constant flux and open to interpretation.  By buying into those kinds of labels and philosophies, the truth is completely lost, because real truth lies beyond those labels, and cannot be reached through them.

The only absolute, the only thing that matters is suffering.  How do you know the Holocaust was not the correct course of action for Hitler to undertake?  Ask that to someone on the street.  Ask them why they are so sure that wasn’t a just action.  The answer would come back in some form of “Well duh, he killed millions of people, and that’s wrong.”  To say it’s wrong, means that in some context, it could also be right though.  Example: The Holocaust cost some 5.9 million Jewish lives.  We say that was wrong.  In comparison, the Axis suffered 7.4 million military deaths (this ignores civilian costs).  But that was right.  Because of perception.  In a world of opposites, killing 6 million Jewish people is somehow worse than killing 7 million soldiers.

A human life is a human life, regardless of where and when it was taken.  One is not more valuable than another.  Right and wrong in this case is merely an intellectualization that allows us to excuse our actions.  Killing people causes suffering.  Therefore you do not do it.  Period.  It isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about dharma.  Life is not black and white, life is suffering, and the only thing that we should concern ourselves over is getting rid of that, not adding to it.  Add it all started with opposites.  Jewish people were bad, Germans were good.  An emotional defilement.  The Allies were righteous, the Axis was evil.

These opposites are painfully and intrinsically linked to the entire founding principle about how not getting past these ideas leads to suffering.  Those are large scale examples of course, but again, scale is only a matter of interpretation.  The principle is the same at any level.  Don’t be guided by right and wrong, be only guided by the principles that removing suffering.  That isn’t the right choice, it is the only choice you can make that is without fault.

Three Pillars of Strength

// November 29th, 2007 // No Comments » // Buddhism

Now that I am moved (unpacking…well, that’s another story), I am able to start devoting more time and concentration back on the important stuff. Which feels good, and is well timed, as I need to put a chill on the stress levels going on in my head. I need to regain some focus and concentration. I slept well last night, which certainly helped.

 

The Three Poisons of Greed, Anger, and Delusion are the source of all illusions and desires. These poisons keep us one step away from happiness, always moving us away from reality. What is the common root of all three poisons, and how can we transform them into happiness?

“Transforming Poison into Happiness” ~ The Middle Way

I have other things to discuss as well that have been on my mind of late, but that article above gives me some groundwork, so I’ll get to the other stuff some other time. Besides, I like the Middle Way blog and hope you take some time to read some of their stuff.

I will paraphrase some of what they talk about as an introduction, and by paraphrase, I mean be lazy and hope that my brevity is understandable in some form. See, there are these three things, which we can call poisons, which work to stop a person from achieving happiness. Another way to look at it is that these would be three components of dukkha (suffering). They may exist alone, or in combinations with each other. As quoted, they are anger, greed, and delusion. They are a basic barrier to being happy in your life.

Anger is a good one. You can’t turn a corner without running in to it. People get angry when they identify influences as negatively impacting their life, from there they decide that something must take the blame, and anger occurs from the resulting frustration with the situation. I had a good run in with this one yesterday, when I got my car back and noticed it driving funny around 55mph. But rather than get angry at it, I have found understanding. The car has a problem, probably not major, and my anger towards it would not change the matter. Nor is the car trying to dish out some punishment on me. It is what it is, and it will be fixed, or not. Anger would not solve the problem though. The car (or situation, or personal conflict, etc) cannot attack what we know as the Self. It is our perception that what we commonly consider the “I” is under attack, and we respond with anger. But the truth is that there is no I to be attacked. Therefore there is no reason to get angry. To put it in more personal terms, if someone were to start a conflict with you, they are trying to attack a person that actually does not exist. They are angry at “you,” when “you” cannot exist if there is no “I.” Therefore we should respond to their anger with compassion, because they are angry at an idea, not at our Self.

Greed comes in all forms, and might be one of the harder poisons to break. It may be for money and possessions, for love and emotions, for less or more of situation, for an event, and on, and on. Greed is the root source of some of the worst dukkha. Wars have been started by one person coveting what others had. Greed drives good people to do bad things. Worst of all, greed is self perpetuating. It can sustain itself longer, the deeper into it a person falls. This is selfish greed. The alternative is selfless greed. It is natural to want the best for ourselves, but really, we should focus on the best for everyone else. What we get from that will occur naturally and will sustain us exactly as much as we need. It is a hard thing to sit down and flip a switch from selfish to selfless greed, but much easier to strive towards it over time. Change a little more each day. Spend meditation time on others and their needs. Find ways to help them get what they need. Find happiness not in getting the best for you, but rather finding the best for others. I think many of us can identify with people in our lives that think they never have enough, and can never get ahead. They have combined greed and anger, which powers their suffering. They believe they never have enough, and get frustrated when this impedes their path.

The third poison, Delusion, I saved for last. Delusion is more commonly a result of one of the first two. Delusion is a poison that distracts people from truly seeing the solution to their suffering. They might be angry at their friends, and frustrated with not being able to buy what they want, or have the relationships they want, so they believe moving will solve everything. Or perhaps they fall into a relationship that they think will tie up all their loose ends. These are common delusions. They fail to identify the source of their dukkha, and in turn do not transform their other poisons into Pillars to stand on, so their cycle of unhappiness follows them and repeats. The counterpoint to delusion is right view, where instead you see through delusions, and are present only in the Truth. This opens the door to the Four Noble Truths, where you can begin work on the other two poisons.

So, while Delusion occurs as a result of Greed and Anger, it is the first one you need to solve to overcome the latter two. Without Right View, you cannot begin work transforming the other two poisons into pillars for cultivating good mindfulness. From there, once you have transformed those poisons, we can come to the final Noble Truth of practicing the Noble Eightfold Path, which will prevent them from returning and prepare you to help others do the same.

Thoughts on the Path

// November 21st, 2007 // 1 Comment » // Buddhism

One of the tougher concepts of Buddhism for me to get a hold of (and one I’m still really working on) is what the Noble Eightfold Path is and how to incorporate that into day to day life. This is the 4th of the Four Noble Truths: that the Path leads to the end of dukkha. To simplify down, by practicing the Path, you can lead a life that no longer causes you suffering, and helps others to find the same happiness. It is one thing to read the eight different ideas. I can read them. I know what the words mean. But to truly understand the meaning of the concept, to translate that into a lifestyle, now that is another matter all together.

One of my more favorite Buddhist blogs these days is The Middle Way. They had a brief post on this subject a few days ago, and it has spurred me to explore deeper into this matter to try and better my own understanding. It is this that I would like to share with you. In all actuality, I must also acknowledge that of late, I have not been mindful of studies into these matters due to my own stresses, and that is the time when they are most important. Sometimes the greatest feeling is that brief moment of clarity you can achieve when you are having a trouble, and you are able, if for just a moment, to see ever grain of the issue. You understand how they go together, and how they are not meant as a hurdle to your development. It simply is what it is, nature keeping balance. You address it, and move along. Like jumping into a river, if you jump in and fail to swim, you drown. But if you work with the river, learn to use it and float with it, then it will carry you from the start to the finish with little assistance or interference from you. The water might be cold or turbulent at times, but fighting it or giving up is a quick path to failure.

Okay, before I get to far off into a philosophical discussion I’m not prepared to handle, let me get back on the course. I do not intend to go into an academic discussion of each fine point of the Noble Eightfold Path. There are plenty of resources that Google can turn up for that. Rather, I’d like to just sit and consider, and breakdown some parts that make me think. There are three main groups of principles: Wisdom, ethical conduct, and mental discipline. Together they weave a fine net of control over how you react to your environment. Each group has components: Right speech, right intention, right mindfulness, and the like. These are not “right” in the sense that there is something that is “wrong.” Generally no such polar opposites exist. The whole point of the Middle Way is that it is in between. “Right” is to imply something more neutral or balanced. To say all is right with the world does not mean that everything is perfect and Utopian, it means everything is in equilibrium, and behaving as it should. In that same vein we should interpret the “right” concepts of the Path.

I would like to look at Right Speech as a good example. It is one of the easier areas to affect, in my opinion. However, as most of my friends will attest (those dirty bastards, I mean…loyal, caring people), I can be rather crude when the time doesn’t call for it. I never say mean things, or bad things, with any level of seriousness. Always in jest. However, the principle of Right Speech would dictate that even in jest, I should not engage in it. Old habits die hard, and too often I hear the words “Michael, you are a bad Buddhist.” That is equally as much a joke usually, at my expense, but in reality it is very true. I must consider how a bystander might take something that I consider to be a joke. My friends know when to call my bluff, a stranger does not. Following the Path means being present in every moment, and that means considering everything around you, strangers and friends alike. I also lie a lot. Not to mislead people for the purpose of furthering an agenda, just to be an ass mostly. I’m always leading people astray with crazy stories of high school football glory and sisters locked in suitcases in the attic. I can be very convincing.

I have friends who have problems in their lives. This is probably not unlike many of you. We all know people that feel as if the world is against them. I wish to help them, but that can be hard when a person will not help themselves. You cannot be their sole support, and even with a good supporting cast it is often not enough without them understanding their role in helping themselves. To those of you that feel like things are against you, and that you can never get ahead, I direct you towards the principle of Right View. Right View is a wisdom discipline, one of the first you learn that teaches you the Four Noble Truths. I won’t go into those in detail now, but in Right View, you learn these Truths, which deal with suffering, why we have it, and how to end it. The idea of “view” can be looked at to also mean perspective, vision, or understanding. By having Right View, you can learn to understand your suffering, its source, and how to get past it. You see influences and the world around you, and you learn what it means to see things clearly. The key being that anyone is capable of this. We have that power, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. It takes patience, and work, and acceptance that there are hard answers from time to time. But at its core, a hard answer is still just one more response in a sea of responses that you will find and use over a lifetime. After time, you learn that answers and solutions no longer require modifiers like “hard” or “easy.” It simply is what it is.

I could go on a lot longer, but I’ll save that for later. I hope that this helps you out. Questions and comments are 100% welcome.

Blogged Meditation 5

// October 10th, 2006 // No Comments » // Buddhism

This thought for the day is a two part idea, one from my own head that I have spent some time thinking on.  Now I think I can effectively break down into words the underlying principle behind this simple phrase.

There is a common example I see pop up from time to time in the discussion of kharma.  It is the idea of the young girl who is raped and killed by some evil man.  He is never caught, and she ends up gone.  The question inevitably arises: why does she suffer, why doesn’t kharma punish him, what did she do to deserve that?  Before, I generally viewed this as a simple misunderstanding of how kharma works.  For the most part, it is usually believed that kharmic effects don’t actually take place during the same lifetime in which they are incurred.  It is only our desire for immediacy, and our inability to grasp that sometimes things take time to play out that confuses the issue.  The show My Name is Earl, while cute and funny, is entirely inaccurate with its handling of the concept of kharma.  I’ll still watch it though   My old answer was a simple expansion on the idea:  the innocent girl was not balancing out an act of this life, but something prior, and the criminal will indeed get his.  Maybe not now, but later.

That being said, I found the flaw in my logic.  While that answer is not entirely incorrect, it has one trap that we tend to fall into, and that is over-humanizing.  We do this particularly in the girl’s case.  We believe that due to her age, she is, by default, innocent.  We believe that youth brings with it an inherent form of amnesty.  That is not the case.  The events that might take place to the young body do not change the idea that the impact on the being of the mind is entirely different.  The self that goes beyond the physical body is far older, and far more experienced.  The body is a vessel for that.  It will get another, grow, and move forward and upward, knowing that now it is that much closer to escaping kharmic rebirth. 

To us, we would view the event as a tragedy because we attach ideas like age of mind and body all to one constant, a point of birth.  We then further apply false ideas of innocence on top of that.  Layer upon layer of things that aren’t actually real.  The result is that what really happens, never happened to a little girl.  It happened to something older, wiser, and far more capable, beyond any understanding we can really apply with human concepts.  The confusion comes from mixing long held, and widespread ideas, like the one of the one-off life of mind, body, and soul.  One of the primary teachings of Buddhism is that we must escape that sense of "I"-ness.  The belief that I am my body, that they are part of the same thing.  What we refer to when we say I does not actually exist.  The word "I" is just a lingustic tool to ease the association of relationships, the same way "he" or "she" is.  The true nature of that person, what they are and who they are, lies far beyond our shortsighted words.

My second point is on the loss of self (don’t worry, this one should be shorter).  I was talking to a friend the other day about having wisdom teeth taken out.  Luckily for me, I was born without them, so it isn’t an experience I’ll have to deal with.  But, the point was raised about anesthesia.  As a Buddhist, we know we are supposed to avoid all mind altering substances.  Clarity of the mind is a precious thing, and not something one should artificially cloud.  You should never purposefully lose that sense of self, or control.  That’s easy to say for substances of choice: alcohol, chemicals, drugs, etc.  But what about surgery aids?  What if you are in a car accident, knocked out, and they administer drugs to keep you under and do surgery, etc?  It’s an interesting point of conflict.  Obviously, the reasonable answer is that I would have to decline such types of treatment.

I dunno.  It just raises an interesting point about how far one could go before the physical need for relief would overpower the mental need for clarity.  One could argue that someone well trained in Buddhism and/or meditation could, through mental effort, block out and isolate any pain with little more than a local numbing agent.  In that case, providing their own for of anesthesia.  In any case, hopefully I don’t need to force my hand on the matter.