SuperSatellite

Gateway Bride? Free Vacation? I’m not that stupid

// April 23rd, 2008 // 55 Comments » // Life and Times, Relationships, Travel

You know, I thought that something sounded a little strange when Michaele called me last night and told me that she got a call that we had won a free vacation to the Bahamas. She didn’t have a lot of info, but I figured since they’d called her at work, she might not have had time to talk too long. But what info she could tell me, just sounded a little odd. I should always go with my first instinct.

Like why, if we won, did we have to make a trip to Joplin to pick up the information? Just mail it to us. And she said that if we couldn’t make it this weekend, they’d be back through in three months. What’s that you say? Why do they make rounds? I told Michaele to call them back this morning and ask a few more questions, what she found out seems to have confirmed what I thought.

The reason that we had to go to Joplin was because that was where the presentation was that we had to go to. But we shouldn’t worry, there would be other couples there too. Sounding scammy? It should. Nothing like this comes free, and there isn’t a company on the planet that’s going to be giving away bucket loads of free trips every few months. According to the lady on the phone, we just had to go, listen to a small presentation, have a snack made for us, and answer a quick survey. In reality, it’s a sales pitch for worthless, $2500 cookware. But don’t take my word for it, read this forum thread. But don’t take their word for it, go look at the info at the Consumer Affairs site. This is just another version of the time share sale.

Here’s things as I have dug them up so far. Gateway Brides claims to be the parent company. I asked them straightforward who owns them, and was told no one. This from the lady that I called and talked to (and I might have embellished a little bit and said my profession involved law during the course of conversation). Not true. Actually, they appear to be a shell front of some kind for Royal Prestige (though I can’t confirm that they actually own Gateway Brides, but they’re sure as hell affiliated). The reason I say that is because they appear to be so far removed from the operation that the agent couldn’t answer any questions, deferring to “we just notify the people that they were selected. The presenters can answer your concerns.” Tax value of the trip? No clue. The names of the presenters? Unknown. Will they have a license on file for the drawing? Maybe. Is there any information online she could refer me to? No (a lie).

Bottom line, I should go to the presentation to get my answers. Right, how about no. Though to her credit, she sounded plenty nice, and thoroughly nervous after learning my “profession.” In reality, it appears that the trips are actually real. Even though she didn’t know of a website I could visit, there actually is a Gateway Brides site (or, depending on your locations, duplicate sites like RP Northeast, Inc. which clearly have the exact same origin). A domain that is clearly a direct marketing firm site, but one that also pointed me to V.I.P. Vacations NY. These people are essentially a vacation clearing house that deals cheap vacations to companies that then use them as an incentive. So, in theory, the trips are real. At least they were in 1985, when it looks like the picture above was taken of their president, one Vince Dima. At this point, visions of scenes from Glengarry GlenRoss are dancing in my head. Research on him reveals he’s bought a number of businesses, none of which are really related, like an ISP reseller and an insurance company. Here’s some other info, which seems to indicate that everything is pretty connected to him at the top.

YourNetPlus was originally founded in 1995, and was acquired and incorporated by President and CEO Vince Dima in 2000. Dima’s company, the 21st Century Group, owns a number of other businesses including a $30 million bridal registry business and a national vacation premium business. Taking over YourNetPlus, Dima says, was a way for his company to become involved in the Internet.

Continuing the trail, V.I.P. Vacations NY is connected to the Viva Resorts group. They own a number of resorts in the Dominican Republic and the Bahamas. They aren’t four or five star resorts as was told to us. In fact, the one in the Bahamas scores a poorly represented three stars. As I interpreted it, that particular review was a touch on the side of being a warning to stay away. Roving bees? Unkempt grounds? Exposed wiring? Is this somewhere you’d want to spend a honeymoon? And other info indicates that you might get hit with resort taxes, transportation fees, and surcharges during peak season.

These folks are clever, I’ll give them that. Each dangly appendage of the business seems to maintain an air of plausible deniability about them, and the interconnectedness seems to be set up that if you successfully deal through one part, another one is ready to pick up the loose ends. The presentation at 7:30PM runs about two hours (longer than they say by about double). By the time you’re done, you’re tired and just want to leave and are more susceptible to pressure. They also target engaged couples with the incentive of a “free honeymoon” and use scare tactics to make you afraid that you’ll be killing your future family with your pots and pans. You know what, if my pans will kill my family, at least they’ll die by cast iron deliciousness.

But, what to do? The cynical side of me says to go, and just use my sharp wit and stubbornness to ensure that we leave one free trip heavier, and nothing else. But that same side also says that they clearly know how to deal with people like me, since they have yet to be sued out of existence. I figure they either successfully con stupid people, or they get someone like me chasing my tail trying to beat them for the trip. Regardless, when the dust settles, they’re gone and not out anything for their trouble. I say that, because I can’t actually find a single firm case of someone actually getting the trip. While they might give you the voucher, I suspect they tack on hidden fees (besides paying for your own flight) and try to blackout date you to hell and back until the three year window is up.

So, be informed, and don’t buy in to it for a minute. Know what you’re getting into, and always remember free things seldom are.

Oh yeah…about that…

// February 18th, 2008 // 3 Comments » // Relationships

Sorry it’s taken so long to get around to this rather important news update.  It’s been a busy week.  See, there’s been a major change in my life.  Like, permanently altering kind of change.

Last year, Valentine’s Day was good.  It was the first one in a while I’d had that I got to spend with someone.  No more Single’s Awareness Day.  And for what was probably the first time in my life, I did well at it.  I genuinely put forth a good effort, and I impressed Michaele, and even surprised myself.  I don’t generally credit myself with being a romantically creative person.  Much to the contrary actually.

This year, big problem.  I used up all my good ideas!  Basically, I set my bar too high for myself, and this year I was left scrambling trying to come up with something good enough so that last year wasn’t just a fluke.  I managed to come up with a couple things, like a nice photo session for us (we don’t actually have any really good pictures of ourselves together), but I still found myself falling short.

So, simple solution.  I proposed.  That’s gotta top last year, right?  The only problem is…now what do I do next year?

I’m kidding, I didn’t propose just to top last year, that’d be a terrible reason.  I did it because Michaele is about as awesome a girlfriend as a guy could have.  But more importantly…

SHE SAID YES! 

And how do you respond to that….

// July 27th, 2006 // No Comments » // Life and Times, Relationships

Some of you will notice my new profile picture.  I thought I’d throw it up there for a little while.  No, the kid isn’t mine you silly people, but I’ll discuss that in just one moment.  If you watched my video blog from the other day, you might recall the little girl that tried to climb me backstage because she was "a sloth."  This is her.  Shes possible the coolest little kid I know.  Not only is she a sloth on occasion, but she knows (and can sing) AC/DC songs.  And she’s fricking articulate.  I have no clue how old she is (under about 12 I have no ability to estimate age), but she’s very conscious about her lines in the show, and her singing and everything.  She has a bright future ahead of her I predict.  She went around and took pictures with everyone the other night and made cards for us.

On that note, in response to seeing that picture, a friend of mine told me I need to find a girl and have some kids, because I’d make a good dad.  While I do not disagree in principle, having someone articulate that to me was a little scary.  After all, I’m still young.  Though fully able to commit to the right person, why should I feel need to rush into such a thing?  I know she was half kidding, but still, it starts that little hamster in the wheel up in my skull.  He’s a tired, worn out ol’ hamster, but I get a few spins out of him once in a while still.  I guess this paragraph didn’t really develop much point to it….I think the hamster’s done for a while, so, sorry for the open ended thought.  I think for now I’ll just stick to corrupting other people’s kids.

So….anyone need a sitter?  >:-)

It’s a nice day for a white wedding

// July 17th, 2006 // No Comments » // Life and Times, Relationships

Well, in 8 months I have officially seen two of my good friends take the long walk.  Talk about probably the most brutal wake up call one gets with respect to growing up.  Grey hair, bills, jobs, none of it really compares I think.  But regardless, nice service, no objections, hot as balls outside.  That I blame on you.  See the new pictures I posted for a couple weddingish related photos of me.

Some of us went out and beat my ass at minigolf later that evening.  Since when the hell do I suck so bad at minigolf?  Explain it to me.  Those little balls are so terribly disappointing and yet menacing.  They mock me to hit them straight into the big hole.  Then they giggle with each other when the ball hops of the green and merrily rolls towards some other random green.  I love adjectives.  Yet stick me on a pool table and I’m fine.  At least minigolf is only $1.00 back home instead of three here.  I’m going to start spending more time out there.  I cannot allow myself to be defied in this manner any longer.

Went to see You, Me, and Dupree.  Let me be the first, and by first I mean twenty-millionth, to say that anything with Kate Hudson is worth seeing once.  I fear Owen Willson might be getting snowballed into the same goofy, loveable sidekick roles.  Overall the movie felt like the bastard child of Three’s Company and Wedding Crashers while it was cheating on Meet the Parents.  Not that that’s a bad thing.  In fact it definately had that "let’s appeal to everyone so we make more money" appeal.  A philosophy that has been working well for movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Wedding Crashers. Michael Douglas felt very much like an actor searching for a way to make another character’s role unique, and by that I am refering to Robert de Niro as Jack Byrnes.  He didn’t so much manage.  I mean, he did fine, but it just felt very already done.  I’m going to write a movie.  I’m gonna call it Hello, Meet My Asshole Dad!  And it will star Douglas and de Niro playing fathers vying for their repsective daughters’ attention, all the while trying to destroy their relationship with their wacky boyfriends.  Owen Wilson will play the boyfriends’ loveable mutual sidekick.

My eyes hurt.  They are really dry, despite application of delicious moisturizing drops.  It’s quite annoying.  I hate to say it, but I can’t wait to get to the eye doctor.  I think my eye strain is a large source of suffering for me at the moment.

Quicksilver’s Guide to (un)Successful Dating

// May 9th, 2006 // No Comments » // Relationships

Those of you who know me well know of my ponderings the last few months with regards to life, dating, and relationships. I have come to many conclusions on the matter, and have decided to flesh some of them out in hopes of informing or inspiring others. Or maybe you will just have some more ammunition to use while making fun of me, that’s fine too.

Anyway, lemme start by saying that I have determined I am what can sometimes be called a hopeless romantic. As far as guys go, I think we are few and far between. But I don’t really want to focus on that. Here’s the thing, I suck at dating. This is because I don’t date. And having reflected upon that, I am glad that I don’t. Allow me to explain. The past several years, all I have ever done were serious relationships. Following the end of my last one a year ago, I tried getting out and doing what is sometimes referred to as “playing the field.” It didn’t work. In fact, why would it? Let’s face it, people who date go through how many people, how many bad relationships, how much heartache? And for what? To hang out with someone they don’t really know and will inevitably leave behind.

Let me tell you how I work. I get to know people. I evaluate. I calculate. Sometimes I feel like those seniors at MIT who come from the middle of India or something, never learned to swim, and are now being faced with the swimming test needed to graduate (yes, MIT has a swimming requirement). They get books, manuals, they ask how many strokes per minute to use, what angles to hold their arms at, when all they need to to is go. But you know what, they make it too. Maybe it’s the hard way, but they make it. After you’ve gotten to know someone, became their friend, you can tell if there’s any romantic potential or not. If there’s anything worth chasing after. If not, fine, you still have a new friend, and you can help each other find dates then. If so, you have an actual foundation to build off of, you have more of a connection to work with besides just trying to get in the pants.

So in that regard, I do not date. I am an unsuccessful dater, but in that respect, I am happy to be such. I want more than a date, I want to see a future, I want to know there’s more than a passing interest, I don’t want to subject myself to the date and dump mentality. I would rather have a few meaningful relationships with people I remain friends with, instead of tons of worthless people I’ve dated and never talk to again. This is what I do. Some day it will get me where I need to go, I have no doubt. And when it does, oh the parties that will be had, heh.