SuperSatellite ||

You know, I thought that something sounded a little strange when Michaele called me last night and told me that she got a call that we had won a free vacation to the Bahamas. She didn’t have a lot of info, but I figured since they’d called her at work, she might not have had time to talk too long. But what info she could tell me, just sounded a little odd. I should always go with my first instinct.

Like why, if we won, did we have to make a trip to Joplin to pick up the information? Just mail it to us. And she said that if we couldn’t make it this weekend, they’d be back through in three months. What’s that you say? Why do they make rounds? I told Michaele to call them back this morning and ask a few more questions, what she found out seems to have confirmed what I thought.

The reason that we had to go to Joplin was because that was where the presentation was that we had to go to. But we shouldn’t worry, there would be other couples there too. Sounding scammy? It should. Nothing like this comes free, and there isn’t a company on the planet that’s going to be giving away bucket loads of free trips every few months. According to the lady on the phone, we just had to go, listen to a small presentation, have a snack made for us, and answer a quick survey. In reality, it’s a sales pitch for worthless, $2500 cookware. But don’t take my word for it, read this forum thread. But don’t take their word for it, go look at the info at the Consumer Affairs site. This is just another version of the time share sale.

Here’s things as I have dug them up so far. Gateway Brides claims to be the parent company. I asked them straightforward who owns them, and was told no one. This from the lady that I called and talked to (and I might have embellished a little bit and said my profession involved law during the course of conversation). Not true. Actually, they appear to be a shell front of some kind for Royal Prestige (though I can’t confirm that they actually own Gateway Brides, but they’re sure as hell affiliated). The reason I say that is because they appear to be so far removed from the operation that the agent couldn’t answer any questions, deferring to “we just notify the people that they were selected. The presenters can answer your concerns.” Tax value of the trip? No clue. The names of the presenters? Unknown. Will they have a license on file for the drawing? Maybe. Is there any information online she could refer me to? No (a lie).

Bottom line, I should go to the presentation to get my answers. Right, how about no. Though to her credit, she sounded plenty nice, and thoroughly nervous after learning my “profession.” In reality, it appears that the trips are actually real. Even though she didn’t know of a website I could visit, there actually is a Gateway Brides site (or, depending on your locations, duplicate sites like RP Northeast, Inc. which clearly have the exact same origin). A domain that is clearly a direct marketing firm site, but one that also pointed me to V.I.P. Vacations NY. These people are essentially a vacation clearing house that deals cheap vacations to companies that then use them as an incentive. So, in theory, the trips are real. At least they were in 1985, when it looks like the picture above was taken of their president, one Vince Dima. At this point, visions of scenes from Glengarry GlenRoss are dancing in my head. Research on him reveals he’s bought a number of businesses, none of which are really related, like an ISP reseller and an insurance company. Here’s some other info, which seems to indicate that everything is pretty connected to him at the top.

YourNetPlus was originally founded in 1995, and was acquired and incorporated by President and CEO Vince Dima in 2000. Dima’s company, the 21st Century Group, owns a number of other businesses including a $30 million bridal registry business and a national vacation premium business. Taking over YourNetPlus, Dima says, was a way for his company to become involved in the Internet.

Continuing the trail, V.I.P. Vacations NY is connected to the Viva Resorts group. They own a number of resorts in the Dominican Republic and the Bahamas. They aren’t four or five star resorts as was told to us. In fact, the one in the Bahamas scores a poorly represented three stars. As I interpreted it, that particular review was a touch on the side of being a warning to stay away. Roving bees? Unkempt grounds? Exposed wiring? Is this somewhere you’d want to spend a honeymoon? And other info indicates that you might get hit with resort taxes, transportation fees, and surcharges during peak season.

These folks are clever, I’ll give them that. Each dangly appendage of the business seems to maintain an air of plausible deniability about them, and the interconnectedness seems to be set up that if you successfully deal through one part, another one is ready to pick up the loose ends. The presentation at 7:30PM runs about two hours (longer than they say by about double). By the time you’re done, you’re tired and just want to leave and are more susceptible to pressure. They also target engaged couples with the incentive of a “free honeymoon” and use scare tactics to make you afraid that you’ll be killing your future family with your pots and pans. You know what, if my pans will kill my family, at least they’ll die by cast iron deliciousness.

But, what to do? The cynical side of me says to go, and just use my sharp wit and stubbornness to ensure that we leave one free trip heavier, and nothing else. But that same side also says that they clearly know how to deal with people like me, since they have yet to be sued out of existence. I figure they either successfully con stupid people, or they get someone like me chasing my tail trying to beat them for the trip. Regardless, when the dust settles, they’re gone and not out anything for their trouble. I say that, because I can’t actually find a single firm case of someone actually getting the trip. While they might give you the voucher, I suspect they tack on hidden fees (besides paying for your own flight) and try to blackout date you to hell and back until the three year window is up.

So, be informed, and don’t buy in to it for a minute. Know what you’re getting into, and always remember free things seldom are.

Well, I think I know what my next big purchase is going to be. A motorcycle. And I swear it’s not some macho guy thing (c’mon, me, macho? I barely pull off meek and unintimidating). I’ve been playing with the idea for a while actually, and I figure with gas breaching $3.50 a gallon, an 80MPG 250cc bike is sure becoming awfully appealing. And I’m not talking a Harley. They are too big and too expensive. I need a Diet Coke type motorcycle.

Consider, let’s just assume I buy a new bike, rather than used. Drop a grand down, make $90/month payment (realistically a small bike I can pay off in a year). The amount I’m saving in gas would actually be paying for the bike. Compare: V8 Lincoln LS - 17MPG in town against a Yamaha V Star 250 - 80MPG. We’re not talking a minor little difference here. This is about a 5 fold increase in fuel economy. And a bike with a little 250cc engine isn’t going to let me get into any trouble. It’s not racy, it’s light, it’s easy to handle. Good starter bike for a guy who has never ridden a motorcycle before (my two wheels are normally pedal powered). Plus 250’s apparently hold their value well, because of the fuel economy and the fact that there are always new people looking for starter bikes.

I’m really just trying to decide on what I want. Honda and Yamaha have tempting bikes at this size, the Rebel and the V Star 250. And they’re nice looking bikes too. Small, but they don’t look like toy bikes. At least to an amateur like me. Of course, my parents will probably slap me stupid for it, but it’s not like I’m wanting some 1100cc cruiser (yet). It’s either that, or I’m riding to work this summer on the mountain bike I got at the police auction today. I’m leaning towards the V Star, since it appears to have a little bit nicer equipment all around. I’m going to see about checking one out on Monday.

Unfortunately, to get one used you really have to be in the right place at the right time. Surprisingly, Harley’s are easy to come buy in the for sale ads, but they still aren’t cheap. So, we’ll see if I get lucky. I have a way of doing that once in a while (not that way, you perv). Oddly enough, there’s a Kawasaki Vulcan Classic coming up at an auction next month, but unfortunately for me it’s way to big.

Luckily, my dad served as a lesson in how not to ride a motorcycle, when a semi pretty much nearly squashed him on the highway when he was a kid. I’m in it totally for practicality. That, and I’ll look like a total badass stud.

What is it about holidays that seems to bring the stupid out in people?  Explain it to me.  Or is it just that people have no concept of how to drive anymore?  Michaele and I left Friday morning to go be with family over the weekend and look at places for the wedding.  On the way down, we got trapped in behind an oversized semi that slowed us way down.  The problem with that is that Michaele’s little Sentra has no balls.  No balls.  That makes it terribly difficult to pass.  But, to all those drivers that felt it necessary to pass both us and the semi at once, you win a gold star for being brilliant.  That’s me being sarcastic, in case you couldn’t tell.

I seem to recall that passing two vehicles at once is illegal.  Though, now, I can’t find evidence to support that actually.  If it’s not, it should be.  Regardless, that doesn’t make it any less stupid.  Especially when one of the two cars you are passing is an oversized semi, which may or may not have a vehicle in front of it you have no way of seeing.  Eventually, we did get around them, by being patient and finding a proper opportunity.

Coming back was even worse.  I recently convinced Michaele that it is perfectly safe and reasonable to do 5 MPH over the speed limit (she tends to err on the side of caution a bit too much while driving, even for me).  You’d be hard pressed to find a cop anywhere, outside maybe a school zone, that would actually pull you over for that (violations under 10MPH don’t actually count as moving violations anyway).  If the limit is 65, I usually do 69, if it’s 70, I’ll do 74.  I’m comfortable with that, and I’ve never been stopped for speeding because of it.  But, I lost count of the number of people that passed us while we were doing 70.  Technically, it is illegal to speed while passing someone (though blah, blah, blah, we all do it).  But, to do so blatantly, when we are already going over the speed limit…  Again, I defer to my earlier comment re: stupid.  There isn’t anywhere you need to get that you need to get there that fast.  If so, leave earlier.  We got passed by people that continued on down the road doing easily 75 and 80 MPH.  Out of sight within minutes.  And what really set me off, was the number of people that did it.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been passed quite so many times on that stretch of highway.  Keeping in mind that we were already going over the speed limit.

My main reason for ranting about this is one - you make my travel more unsafe, you farking idiots.  Plus, it pisses me the hell off when I go to pass someone, and a person takes it upon themselves to pass me and the person in front of me at that same moment.  You’re just asking to cause an accident.  Two, I seriously worry about where we will be in a generation or two.  I know that in the grand scheme, this is a dumb one to worry about.  But, it is symptomatic of all the other crap we’re dealing with these days.  If you drive like an idiot, how does that reflect to your kids?  What lesson do they learn?  That it’s okay to drive how you want and tell the ones that are trying to be remotely safe to fark off?  Keep riding my ass on the highway, and one day I might just snap and slam on my brakes.  That’d suck for Mr. Idiot Driver Behind Me Who Needs a Crash Course In Traffic Protocols.  And if you need evidence, stop and really watch how kids drive these days.  I never even had a driver’s ed course, and I knew better than these kids do how to act in a car.

And now, for no reason, a video of my parents’ idiot dog attacking light:

Man, I don’t know what it is lately, but apparently I have become a magnet for red lights.  I’ve been driving back and forth to the college a lot for the play and such, so my travel has been about double the normal rate.  But for some reason I cannot hit green lights between here and there to save my life.

My normal route has 6 lights going and 7 coming back.  To be fair, one of those lights (on both legs) is never red.  It’s just there for the school kiddies to get across a busy street when they push da button.  But, between the 11 other passes, over the past 4 or so days, my red light percentage is running about 80%.  I made it a point to count coming home yesterday, of the 6 lights which actually run normally, 5 were red on me.  I don’t get it.  Same story this morning.  My trips to and from work are taking almost twice as long as normal because I’m constantly sitting at lights.  Everyone knows Pittsburg’s downtown lights are notorious for this behavior, except that I don’t go through the downtown.

Don’t even get me started on the stop signs.  Those bastards get me every time.

Yesterday, someone dumped a mountain bike at the curb of my house.  Being the good samaritan that I am, I made Michaele pull it out of the street so that it wouldn’t get hit.  I figured maybe it broke down on someone or something, and they might come back for it.  When I got home from work (after fighting the red lights), the bike was still there, so I pulled it up closer to the house and called the cops.  After all, that’s their job, right?  I remember when my last bike got stolen here, someone dumped a POS in its place, also stolen (they basically traded up), so I ran with the assumption that someone might be looking for it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this was no great find.  It was a Wal-Mart Mt. Fury Roadmaster Steel Beast of Crap purple woman’s mountain bike.  Replacement value $3.27 at a rummage sale.  But hey, someone might want it back.  So I call the 5-0 to let them know.  They tell me not only will they not pick it up, but they won’t even send someone to look at it.  Now that’s really encouraging.  Sure, I can understand not picking it up.  They only have so much room to store abandoned bikes.  But to not even look at it to see if it matches a description someone might have submitted?  That’s just lazy and sloppy.

Imagine it was your $2000 Trek Fuel EX 7 or something.  You called it in, gave a description, etc, etc, and the police assure you they’ll do their best.  I just happened to find it dumped at my house.  Knowing a good bike from a cheap bike, I call the police.  They tell me:
5-0: “…sorry, we are out of room to store bikes.”
Me: “So, what should I do with it then?” 
5-0: “Well, hold on to it for a while and see if anyone claims it, otherwise…” 
Me: “Otherwise?  Just do what I want with it?” 
5-0: “Basically, yeah.”

That’s paraphrased, but pretty much the exact phone conversation I had.  Given the fantasy bike, you’re out, and I just hit jackpot, and the police didn’t do an ounce of followup on your report.  Sadly, the actual bike really is a piece of junk, and was more than likely left for trash.  The moral?  Don’t let your bike get stolen in Pittsburg.  (I never did get mine back that got stolen a few years ago, I think I know why now.)

Well, I was wrong.  This last day worked out a spot of all right.  Originally, my plan was to take an day of vacation to stay in Miami a day longer.  This went to suck when I found out the hotel we were up in for the conference was…outside my budget.  This forced me to find a different hotel for the final day.  So I sorta thought that the mess wasn’t going to hardly be worth it, as I’d have to pack, switch hotels, be away from the nice area I was in, etc.  As it turns out, I got to enjoy the afternoon all right.  When I got here, they didn’t have a room ready, so I was forced to amuse myself for a couple hours.

As it turned out, the hotel is on what they call the “Miracle Mile” in Coral Gables.  Plenty of shops and stuff (though most were closed on Sunday), but there was a Subway for an affordable lunch, and a car show taking place.  I also found a sushi place about 4 blocks from the hotel the guys from dotMarketing were telling me about called Sushi Maki.  That was dinner.  So I was able to get out and about a couple times, did plenty of walking, and got to enjoy the weather some more.  I also rode in a taxi for the first time.  It was anticlimactic.

I saw a bag lady uptown too.  I was going to take a picture, because I’d never seen an honest to goodness bag lady (she had about 20 garbage bags full of random goods, stacked very well).  I thought better of it, as I should probably respect her right to…well, live how she wants to live and not be bothered by a random, curious, small town tourist.  But, interesting nonetheless.  I also saw a Bentley, which I didn’t think “real” people “drove” in normal, everyday life.  And more small dogs.  What the hell is with the small dogs down here?

Anyway, to the topic of the previous three days, the conference was excellent.  DotMarketing treated us phenomenally.  For one, they hooked us up with some decent swag, including a nice messenger bag that I’ll be putting to use (free stuff is all it’s really about anyway ).  They took us out bowling in South Beach last night, which was by far and long the fanciest bowling alley I have ever seen.  The discussions I got to have face to face with their developers were invaluable.  All the guys and gals there are very easy to approach and talk with things about, which is great.  They also bowl better than me.  Except Lianis and David.  Sorry guys, but at least I can beat someone, heh.

Next year, I expect the conference will be a good deal bigger, with a little more diversity in experience levels and presentations from more people in the community.  If so, it would certainly get better and better. All around it was very well organized though, and the tracks were balanced so that at least I never had to argue between two sessions I wanted to go to (or not, were that the case).  The round table discussion I was in was very promising with respect to unifying and building the community of users that were here, and I think that will have a huge impact over the next year.

I’m excited to get back now and put to use some of what I learned and talked about.  That’s the mark of a good product and company in my opinion, that they can get you excited about stuff.  I don’t feel like I’m going back to fight a monster, just build one, heh.

So I will now sign off.  I leave in the morning, and will apparently have to fight some less than appealing weather when I get into KC.  Hopefully it all holds together long enough to get home.