SuperSatellite ||

Well, I think I might be crazy. And not that good kind of crazy anymore. The bad kind that results in additional badness for me. Luckily it’s localized crazy, so I don’t think it would really affect any of you. I’ve been eyeballing the local summer bike tours (BAK, OKFreewheel). Again. I have done both, but haven’t done one since…2004? That sounds about right. I’ve been both too injured and too out of shape (more the former) to manage getting back into one of them since then.  But I’ve really been iching to get back on the road, and every year I kick back and wait for them to announce routes and think about making the trip.  I almost managed it last year, but other travel ended up taking precedent.

So what’s different about this year? Absolutely nothing. In fact, my back is probably worse now than it’s been for a while. But I have a need to prove to myself I can fight through it. In fact, I know I can. That’s not what worries me. What worries me is what I’ll be like after the fight. Ideally, if I train for the next 6 months, I should be great. Hell, the first time I did it, I had no training besides one 30 mile ride under my belt (and that hurt like a mother). But I’m not even really sure I can get through training without coming away worse off than I am now. And the longer I wait, the harder it will be.  But I hate giving up something I enjoy so much. Besides, the rides are just plain fun. Get out for a week, ride in the open air. Be out away from the cities. Relax in the evenings.

OKFreewheel is both the shorter and cheaper of the two rides. BAK is a little better supported in my opinion, but I don’t like where it’s ending this year (about as far north and east as you can possibly get in this state). They’re both at the same time too, so it can’t be both anyway, I’d have to choose one or the other. I think I need someone to talk me out of it though. Either that, or convince me I absolutely should do it. Otherwise it’ll probably just pass me by, and I’ll be frustrated with my inability to commit to it, one way or another.  Odds are it would end up being really good for me. I’ve just lost the confidence that I need, and part of me thinks I’m better off for it, that I should just stick to shorter, low impact stuff.  I haven’t done more than 15 miles in one ride in about two years, which is pretty terrible.  I did try the Gorilla Century about 3 years ago, but had to drop out about 60 miles in after the pain got too bad to fight through.

Screw it, I’m just gonna make the call.  Unless the registration fees are outrageous, or I can’t get transportation arranged, I’m just gonna do it.  Training starts tomorrow.  That will settle that.  How’s that for sudden decision making?

Okay, time to back track and talk about the trip.  I did get the photo album posted last night, so you can look over what all went down.  There’s a lot of pictures there of Tulum.

Well, getting out wasn’t much of a problem.  The weather stayed relatively nice all the way down.  The only problem I really hit was after landing in Tampa, there was a traffic jam getting out of the airport that delayed me about two hours.  There was a bunch of us sitting in the shuttle pickup area, and you could see the cars in the round-a-bout area.  You could watch them for half an hour without seeing a single one even move.  So that was awfully frustrating.

But getting on the boat and everything was not too bad, aside from issues stemming from over-aggressive ID checking, which I mentioned the other day.  Oh, and they make you bind a credit card to your Sail & Sign card (basically your credit card/room key on the boat), which I personally think is dumb.  What’s wrong with cash?  I made the mistake of getting a Coke after I got on board because I was thirsty (of course, they had free sparkling wine on the deck, but little good that does me).  $2.00 for a can later, I decided I’d be sticking to free tea and fruit punch the rest of the trip.

Being on the boat isn’t that bad.  I, personally, had no problems with seasickness, and would say that while you can at times feel movement, for the most part you can’t hardly feel anything since it’s so big.  The problem is, while on the boat, there just isn’t much to do.  There’s a casino, where I turned $30 into $77.50 at Blackjack.  There are crappy stage shows in the evening.  There’s a small pool generally overrun by kids.  Or you can lay out on the deck or eat.  That’s about it.  Oh, there is a gym too, and that was alright.  As far as the other entertainment, you easily exhaust it in a day and end up spending a lot of time wandering the ship (not entirely because you are lost).

Something that is completely worthwhile, however, is the food.  While you pay for any drink beyond the basics (which does not include pop), food is completely free and always available.  There was a sushi bar open from 5:00 until 8:30 in the evenings which was okay.  Not as good as I’d expect though.  There’s 24 hour pizza and deli sandwiches.  Multiple buffets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  And best of all, gourmet dinners.  We’re talking shrimp, duck, lobster, fillet mignon,  chateaubriand and pork chops the size of my head.  I highly recommend the food.  And the servers are surprisingly pleasant and fun.  Far more of them are eastern European than I would have expected, too.  I probably ate my ticket price alone in food.

Excursions were alright.  Grand Cayman wasn’t particularly exciting.  We didn’t get to stay there long, it was cloudy, and the cab drivers are crazy.  I did go parasailing, which nearly made me sick.  It was a new experience though.  I also saw a random chicken running around in town.  Calica was put in place of Cozumel due to their hurricane damage.  We had all day there, and the Mayan ruins at Tulum were neat.  It’s a shame it’s such a tourist trap.  I spent more time beating off shop owners than anything. I much prefer traditional means of shopping over haggling, I don’t want to be hassled while I’m shopping.  What is crazy is how hot it is there in winter, and yet everyone works in jeans.  I can only imaging what summer is like.  Hooray for air conditioned buses.

I would not recommend the evening shows.  The singing…the dancing…let me be clear, I’m a theatre person, and I love a good show.  I also know bad singing and dancing when I see it.  And when a show is put together by someone without much of a theatre background, it’s very clear.  You’re better off dumping quarters into the slot machines.

I did make ample use of the gym, as well as the ice cream machine.  Granted, the two probably offset each other pretty evenly, but I think I’m okay with that.  I spent plenty of time just sleeping out on the deck too.  So much so, that there was actually a point where I no longer knew what day it was.  In that regard, it was a very relaxing vacation.  It’s also a good value, given how much food you (can) eat.  I’d probably do it again, but maybe without the excursions, just like 4 days at sea or something.  Better yet, just take everything in the boat, put it in a resort or something where it’s warm, and I’ll go there for a week.

Before I get to actually talking about the trip proper that I took, I want to take a post to do my customary travel diatribe.  I did this last year after a conference too, so you can consider this part two.

First off, I want to explain my discontent for Midwest airlines, when they turned a well timed, direct flight between MCI and TPA into a late night flight, with a layover in friggin’ Milwaukee. This discontent is only mildly offset by the fact that they serve actual, warm, homemade-ish cookies on their flights.  2 flights = 4 cookies.  But, I’m still pissed about the logistical changes, which required me to get a hotel after getting into Kansas City, because after the long day, I wasn’t about to tack on two and a half hours of driving at midnight on to it.

Furthermore, when I show up at your check in area, don’t make me stand there for half an hour until I get lucky and someone from Midwest happens to stroll by and notice that no one is attending to the check in terminals.  That is simply inexcusable.  At the very least put up a sign or something that says “Gone fishin’, sod off.” At least then I have an idea of what’s going on.

Travel security is becoming such a mockery of itself that I’m surprised people even take it seriously anymore.  Frankly, when people can purchase substantially dangerous plastic/fiberglass based knives, an old man next to me with a pocket knife simply isn’t that threatening.  In fact, given the attitude many TSA guys have, none of the given security measures gives me much comfort.  Yelling at people that they better drink up any water or pop they have doesn’t secure a plane, it makes the guy look like an asshole (and in all fairness, he was really being a jerk).   And could someone explain the logic behind having to pull out electronics larger than your palm to have them scanned separately?  Is a Blackberry or iPod simply less dangerous than a laptop?  Could a terrorist not use a smaller device for their sinister needs?  I would think by now they have seen enough laptops that pulling mine out shouldn’t be a big deal.

Now let’s talk about ID.  I experienced this both at the port and airport.  They check ID’s more than anyone should see logically necessary.  If you check my ID, then send me down a sealed hallway, what is the sense in checking it again at the other end.  Are you afraid someone might try to burrow through the wall and inject themselves into the flow without being noticed?  Likewise, if I can literally turn around and spit and the last person who checked my ID and boarding pass, you might want to consider if you’re aren’t being a little overkill.  I’m pretty damn sure a person can’t magically appear in the middle of the X-ray machine line without a boarding pass when they’ve already gone through two other checkpoints looking for the same thing.  Nor would they want to.

And I just feel bad for senior citizens.  When you are drawing AARP benefits, I think you should earn a pass on most all security checks.  Grandma Mabel in her wheelchair with an oxygen tank probably isn’t a drug mule or terrorist insurgent.  And even if they were, screw it, I’m happy to yield to their 65+ years on this planet and give more power to ‘em.  I think they have earned and deserve that dignity.  Anything less just shows blatant ignorance.

Oddly enough, coming through Customs was unusually painless.  Compared to airport security, I could have been hauling pure cut cocaine with my nose a bright, snowy white, and they wouldn’t have even bothered looking in my bags to check.  Though I did declare some snacks I got on the bus in Mexico, and he asked me what it was, and took my word for it.  That was good, because while I mentioned the chips and cupcake, I totally forgot to mention the crackers.  They might have held that against me.

This is just a note to my friends and readers that I will be leaving today for a little over a week  I’ll be out of the country for the holidays, and will be back the afternoon of the 28th.  If you try to call or e-mail me, there is a chance I won’t get back to you until then (I will be out of cell phone range the 22nd till the 27th, but otherwise can get calls at the start and end).  I don’t know if the ship will have some kind of internet or not, but I will try to hit a computer on the days we’re at port, if such is available.

As it is, I hate traveling, and at the moment I’m feeling rather not well.  Hopefully I’ll be doing better by Saturday.  At least I managed to pack 8 days worth of stuff into one bag, which certainly simplifies the trip.  By Buddha I better get some good sushi on the boat, heh.

Anyway, I hope things go well for everyone and that you have fun, and I’ll update you with new stuff after the holidays.

Well, I got back safe and sound from my trip to Rochester.  I already have my next trip planned.  Atlanta for Thanksgiving.  Let me tell you how much I [don't] look forward to flying over a holiday weekend.  Woo.  Anyway, the trip left me tired and sore, but I was smart this time and will fly non-stop to Atlanta.  No layover = t3h w1n.

But this comic at Penny Arcade this morning was quite well timed for stuff I’ve been joking about lately (click for full size):

See, I just don’t get it.  It’s all right to use portable electronics during taxi and in the air, both times when the airplane is highly reliant on communications and instruments, but during ascent and descent, well, the laws of physics are suddenly bent and my iPod will apparently crash the plane.  I call FUD on that.  Sure, I could maybe see the problem with laptops and cell with all their wireless signals they pump out.  At least there is potential there.  But by god I will use my iPod so long as I like.  Electronic Sudoku is not a navigational threat, I assure you.  But I promise to turn off my portable VOR.

Which leads me in to other things.  Have you ever noticed that when you are sitting on the plane, you will read anything?  It doesn’t matter.  You know as well as I do that the barf bag says "Occupied" on it.  You don’t know why it says it, but be damned if you don’t know it, because at some point you pulled that bag out and read it.  You’ll sit there and read the nutritional facts on the mini pretzels they gave you, you’ll browse the Sky Mall for over-priced wearable 44" TV displays, whatever you can find.  At some point, you actually finding yourself looking for other things to read, like the covers of books people next to you have, which are always romance novels or something by John Grisham.  You look up and try to read the no-smoking sign, but that’s just a little icon.  Despite the fact that smoking has been banned on aircraft for something near 30 years or so.  As if somewhere, there is a commercial jet where you can smoke.  Where the flight attendant welcomes you to light it up in the bathroom, because the smoke alarm in it is just for show, so tamper away!  If I were a pilot, I would just turn off the no smoking sign occasionally, just to see if people lose their minds when they can’t figure out why it’s off.  Like a rift in the fabric of reality lifted them into a Langoliers universe.  Where they can smoke on a plane.  But just in case you do happen to forget, they always remind you that this plane, like every other one for the past million years, is non-smoking.  So there’s a little lit up sign by every chair.

I had to eat breakfast at the airport before leaving Rochester.  I spent something like $23 on a smoothie and cup of yogurt.  Naturally had I walked another 50 feet towards my gate it was a much better deal.  Like $21.  It’s almost like the cost of gas, you know?  But what I don’t get is how you pay your $23 for your smoothie and yogurt, and the girl working there, she clearly doesn’t care.  She’s not rude, but she’s not a happy young lady.  So you give her the $23, and look down, and there’s a tip glass on the counter.  Haha, I don’t think so honey.  I just gave you $23 for a smoothie and yogurt, I’ll be damed before I shell out another 2 dollars to your unhappy ass.  But what blows my mind is that the glass was full!  Someone actually stood there, thought "hmm…she’s trying awfully hard, what’s $2 more after spending $23?" and plopped down the cash.

This is why I shouldn’t fly.