Those of you who know me well know of my ponderings the last few months with regards to life, dating, and relationships. I have come to many conclusions on the matter, and have decided to flesh some of them out in hopes of informing or inspiring others. Or maybe you will just have some more ammunition to use while making fun of me, that’s fine too.
Anyway, lemme start by saying that I have determined I am what can sometimes be called a hopeless romantic. As far as guys go, I think we are few and far between. But I don’t really want to focus on that. Here’s the thing, I suck at dating. This is because I don’t date. And having reflected upon that, I am glad that I don’t. Allow me to explain. The past several years, all I have ever done were serious relationships. Following the end of my last one a year ago, I tried getting out and doing what is sometimes referred to as “playing the field.” It didn’t work. In fact, why would it? Let’s face it, people who date go through how many people, how many bad relationships, how much heartache? And for what? To hang out with someone they don’t really know and will inevitably leave behind.
Let me tell you how I work. I get to know people. I evaluate. I calculate. Sometimes I feel like those seniors at MIT who come from the middle of India or something, never learned to swim, and are now being faced with the swimming test needed to graduate (yes, MIT has a swimming requirement). They get books, manuals, they ask how many strokes per minute to use, what angles to hold their arms at, when all they need to to is go. But you know what, they make it too. Maybe it’s the hard way, but they make it. After you’ve gotten to know someone, became their friend, you can tell if there’s any romantic potential or not. If there’s anything worth chasing after. If not, fine, you still have a new friend, and you can help each other find dates then. If so, you have an actual foundation to build off of, you have more of a connection to work with besides just trying to get in the pants.
So in that regard, I do not date. I am an unsuccessful dater, but in that respect, I am happy to be such. I want more than a date, I want to see a future, I want to know there’s more than a passing interest, I don’t want to subject myself to the date and dump mentality. I would rather have a few meaningful relationships with people I remain friends with, instead of tons of worthless people I’ve dated and never talk to again. This is what I do. Some day it will get me where I need to go, I have no doubt. And when it does, oh the parties that will be had, heh.
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