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Main Entry: schmooze
Variant(s): or shmooze /’shmz/
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: Yiddish shmuesn, from schmues talk, from Hebrew shemu’Oth news, rumor
: To converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection. : CHAT

Sometimes I think I feel like I can’t win for losing. I don’t mean to bitch, but I’m gonna, maybe someone’ll understand. Last night was one of those “let’s all got together and do shit” nights. Which worked well, for about two hours. “All” turned out to be the normal five of us. We started just at Hastings for a few, then went to dinner. Where? Applebees. Now, I have no particular quarrel with them. The food’s moderately priced and tastes fine. The service is reasonable and fast. But I happen to know that most of my friends don’t actually like it too much. With Pittsburg’s lack of quality dining (both on that end of town and on the whole), I thought I’d recommend a new place to try, both to change things up a little, and avoid us ending up somewhere people wouldn’t want. There’s a country kitchen type restaraunt out towards Foxtown, maybe seven miles out. I heard the food’s good, cheap, and abundantly piled onto plates. Naturally though, 7 miles turns out to just be too far to drive for food. Whatever, I didn’t care that much, but don’t get irritated at me when I’m at least trying to make suggestions, and when I’m the only one doing so. And don’t bitch about where we end up if you’re not going to entertain alternatives. I thought somewhere new could be nice. We weren’t necessarily on a time table or anything.

So we eat. Next we go to the Wishing Tree. They were having an artist showcase with live improv music from some guys I know. I don’t think it took more than fifteen minutes, if that, for everyone to bail on me. So the music’s not great? Who cares. Enjoy being out of the house doing something a little different. Sit back and relax and have a free cracker with some spinach type dip on it. I ran into a couple other friends there and talked to them and such, and was left by myself to, and I quote, schmooze. Nothing necessarily bad about that, except I just really felt like it was used with a rather negative connotation. I know I shouldn’t be irritated by that, but come the fuck on. Just because I happen to know some other people and enjoy talking to them about stuff we have in common doesn’t amount to much. I’m not trying to get into anyone’s good graces, I’m just trying to be a friend to people. Maybe show some support. If that means I schmooze, then guilty I guess, but I think everyone out there could stand to do a little more of it if that’s the case.

Again, fine, I didn’t let it spoil my time. I did stay, and I talked to people and had a reasonably all right time. Better than sitting around the house. We were gonna end the night going to a movie, Date Movie. Spoof flick like Scary Movie was. Something funny to watch, plus it was the only worthwhile thing playing at the theatre. We tried inviting a bunch of other people to come with us, to no avail, and on top of it, our normal five dwindled to two. So by the end of the night that was it. Fuck it. I had a good time not sitting around all night like we all do most every weekend. The movie was all right too. Not as funny as Scary Movie, but good for some laughs.

But guess what, it doesn’t end there. I’ve been telling people about a concert that was tonight for the past couple weeks. No one would even give me a staright yes or no on it till about an hour before it started. Actually should have been a really decent show considering all the nothing that comes through these days. Let’s see…it should have started twenty-five minutes ago. Yeah, no one wanted to go, shocking, I know! I could have gone alone, but that really takes a lot of the fun out of it not having anyone to be there with. And everyone else’s attitude has now soured mine. So I stayed here. I wrote this, and I’ll do some job application stuff after this.

It just pisses me off that I’m 24, I’d like to have a little bit of fun, and I’m apparently the only one interested and the only one able to just enjoy. Enjoy what? Anything, just find some simple satisfaction in whatever it is. Music’s a little too loud? No big deal. People laughing in the theater? I’m listening to the movie anyway. Don’t want to smell like smoke? Enjoy the show then take a shower. Restaurant sucks? Be happy you’re out with the company of friends. It’s not that hard and takes very little effort. We’re still young people! Where the hell does all this negativity come from? My friend’s will criticize me for most of this, especially me talking about other people being negative and writing a blog just dripping with bitching, but I certainly think the past few months have gone a long way towards changing a lot of my life views, and while I may joke about negative stuff, I am generally very upbeat and positive these days. Generally.

So anyone wanna do something this week?

[EDIT]
Let me also follow up that I’m just tired of always feeling like whenever I need to vent something, whenever my feelings are hurt, I gotta walk on eggshells because I’m always in the middle of everyone, I’m always keeping the peace. God forbid I upset someone for a change, even if it’s a friend. It sucks, for them and me both, trust me. Just ignore it. By tomorrow, with me, it won’t even matter anymore. Hell, the last thing I want is to upset anyone. But I’ve just felt like it’s getting harder for me to just take it all in stride anymore. So I’m sorry if I hurt anyone with this, because it’s not my intention. I don’t want to ditch my friends, I don’t want to turn anyone on each other, I don’t want accuse anyone of anything, I don’t want to place blame for anything. I just want my night to vent some pent up frustration.
[/EDIT]