SuperSatellite ||

Sorry to disappoint you, but this is actually a serious informational blog, nothing at all to do with Bruce Campbell, skeletal armies, or books bound in human flesh. Though you can always hope. No, instead I just wanted to inform my friends and readers about something my grandmother introduced me to. She’s a sharp lady. Seriously. She can still hurt me, and takes pleasure in doing it when possible. So I have to credit her with showing me this, because I value my life. A little.

There’s a group called the Angel Food Ministries, a non-denominational group that operates in 35 states, helping to bring lower cost foods to communities once a month. And let me tell you, for $30, you get quite a bit of food (I just spent $70 today for two people for one week at the grocery store, by comparison ). Plus they always have special add on boxes for $18-$20 more that have all kinds of steaks or chicken or stuff. I can’t find on their site where the money goes, but I’m sure beyond paying for the operating costs, it probably goes to some Random Good Cause™. At least we can hope. I’ll ask the nice person at the church here if they know.

Their web site offers up the following sample menu for a random month. Keep in mind that the menu changes every month, and this is not an actual one:

• 4 lb. IQF Leg Quarters
• 4 oz. Beef Back Ribs
• 1 lb. 80/20 Lean Ground Beef
• 2 lb. Breaded Chicken Tenders
• 1.5 lb. Bone in Pork Chops (4 x 6oz.)
• 1 lb. Ground Turkey
• 18 oz. Stuffed Manicotti (Cheese)
• 12 oz. Smoked Sausage
• Betty Crocker Seasoned Potatoes
• 7 oz. Cheeseburger Dinner
• 16 oz. Green Beans
• 16 oz. Baby Carrots
• 2 lb. Onions
• 1 lb. Pinto Beans
• 1 lb. Rice
• 7 oz. Blueberry Muffin Mix
• 10 ct. Homestyle Waffles
• Dessert Item

If you want to see for yourself, go look at February’s menu. Sirloin strip steaks, chicken breasts, ribs, produce, not to mention the special boxes with New York strips, prime rib, or tons of chicken. You go to whatever church is serving your area (there’s a locater on their web site), place your order, come back later that month, and pick it up. It’s terribly simple. For Pittsburg, there are three churches doing it, of them, only Trinity Baptist Church is online. They do keep their menus and ordering forms current though.

You should probably prepare for a bit of a wait, as the service is getting popular, and there will generally be lines. You can see a sample image to the left of what one of the boxes looks like. Actually, I think you end up with like a couple boxes, or a box and a bag or something. Also be prepared to make a lot of room in your freezer. But, if you’re anything like me, this is a crazy good deal, because I don’t cook a ton right now, so that’s easily 2-3 weeks worth of groceries for me, and I never buy that much fresh meat (now, spoiled and bad meat is another story…) to just have on hand.

So there you go, consider yourself informed.

deficiency    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (d-fshn-s)
n. pl. deficiencies

1. The quality or condition of being deficient; incompleteness or inadequacy.
2. A lack or shortage, especially of something essential to health; an insufficiency: a nutritional deficiency.

For today’s musing, I have a treat for you, my constant readers.  I want to share with you a story from my fabled past.  It’s not something secret, no, just something that remains undiscussed, much like the genetically deformed and oft homicidal child you keep locked in the basement.  Oh yes…I know.

When I moved to Atlanta back in 2000, I was able to survive for a shockingly long period of time without a job.  Looking back, I’m not entirely sure how I managed it.  I like to think magic, but I would imagine it was mostly good planning on my part.  Eventually I broke down though and required a better source of income besides trying to pull it out of the air.  It was a sheerly comical, yet cruel and meanspirited twist of fate that I got a job at The Gap.  As soon as you have finished laughing, you may continue with the blog.

I lasted all of three months before something better came along.  In my time there, I learned a few things.  One, straight men do not work at the Gap.  Granted, that left me with no competition, however number two is that girls over 18 do not work at the Gap.  And that probably has a lot to do with why number one is true.  Three, male (and consequently gay) managers at the Gap have a fearful, almost contradictingly Naziesque approach to that place.  A paradox that in and of itself is almost strong enough to destroy the universe.  It’s creepy.  When your idea of a good time entails bossing kids around a store for a redress at 2AM, you might consider decaf and changing political affiliations.  I’m not saying Gap managers were Nazis, just that they could be known to be as Nazis sometimes were.  Four, one does not have to work hard to be appear valuable.  In three months I was able to secure a promotion and a dollar an hour raise.  However…come to think of it I think the woman manager that was giving me the raise might have been a porn star on the side…no, really.  Five, female (and apparently straight) managers live in the most amazing and reality disproving bubble I have ever seen.  I think one woman really believed that everyone in the world shopped at the Gap, and I am not the least bit kidding.  She practically deserved to be committed for such an utter lack of grip on reality.

With all that said, the biggest thing that I can say is that my fashion sense is some what…underdeveloped.  How the hell I lasted three months there really is beyond me.  The whole point in relating this story is that I went out shopping last night.  See, I still wear clothes I bought after getting back from Atlanta.  It’s not an activity that thrills me, but my closet is really needing some updating now.  But my sheer inability to comprehend the combining of clothing articles is almost comical in nature.  I’m trying to grow past the novelty T phase of my life, and into something more…grown up?  I dunno.  I will always love my binary 4 hand gesture shirt (00100, think about it).  But I can’t wear stuff like that to work now.  Anyway, watching me muddle through racks of far too big clothing like a blind man is certainly not my idea of a good time.

I did manage to get a pair of shorts I like, but the shirt I got to go with it was too small.  So I’m gonna exchange that tonight.  One thing the Gap never had though was this:  $79 wrinkled white shirts.  I don’t think I can ever buy clothing in The Buckle after seeing that.  Who the hell buys that?  I can buy a $10 shirt and wrinkle it myself just the same, and you know what?  It’ll look like crap the same too.  I think something in my brain popped and broke when I saw that.

So, anyone wanna help me out?

So I have an issue I would love someone to explain to me.  Last night I went to bed a little early, in hopes of regaining some much used up energy from tennis.  Prior to going to bed, I made sure my sheet was wrapped well around all the corners of my mattress.  “Why would you do this?” you might be asking.  Well, I have a curious habit of sometimes pulling a corner or side free, and such was the case the night before last.  So I went to sleep, had not unpleasant dreams that I don’t actually remember, and woke up.  When I woke up, not only had I pulled the sheet loose, but I had removed it from the bed altogether.  Yet the blanket remained on the bed.  I just don’t get this.  I’ve never had this kind of problem with any other bed I have owned, yet somehow I always manage to do it to this one.  Anyone care to take a stab at what’s going on?

I started work on a database application for a company’s website the other day.  Some potentially awesome money to be made from it.  The catch is…I don’t know anything about database app programming.  Let’s just say I’m…winging it.  Luckily I have an intuitive knack for all things computer, so I’m moving along with it.  Learn as you go sort of thing.  Damn I’m clever.

I bought tennis balls at Wal-Mart yesterday but forgot laundry detergent, how dumb was that?

My buddy Jeff is getting married on the 15th next month.  How crazy is that?  I need a new suit.  So, all my Indy friends, I’ll be down for that.  Might stay through Sunday in case anyone wants to kick my ass, lick my feet, or otherwise enjoy my company and council.