SuperSatellite ||

What is it about holidays that seems to bring the stupid out in people?  Explain it to me.  Or is it just that people have no concept of how to drive anymore?  Michaele and I left Friday morning to go be with family over the weekend and look at places for the wedding.  On the way down, we got trapped in behind an oversized semi that slowed us way down.  The problem with that is that Michaele’s little Sentra has no balls.  No balls.  That makes it terribly difficult to pass.  But, to all those drivers that felt it necessary to pass both us and the semi at once, you win a gold star for being brilliant.  That’s me being sarcastic, in case you couldn’t tell.

I seem to recall that passing two vehicles at once is illegal.  Though, now, I can’t find evidence to support that actually.  If it’s not, it should be.  Regardless, that doesn’t make it any less stupid.  Especially when one of the two cars you are passing is an oversized semi, which may or may not have a vehicle in front of it you have no way of seeing.  Eventually, we did get around them, by being patient and finding a proper opportunity.

Coming back was even worse.  I recently convinced Michaele that it is perfectly safe and reasonable to do 5 MPH over the speed limit (she tends to err on the side of caution a bit too much while driving, even for me).  You’d be hard pressed to find a cop anywhere, outside maybe a school zone, that would actually pull you over for that (violations under 10MPH don’t actually count as moving violations anyway).  If the limit is 65, I usually do 69, if it’s 70, I’ll do 74.  I’m comfortable with that, and I’ve never been stopped for speeding because of it.  But, I lost count of the number of people that passed us while we were doing 70.  Technically, it is illegal to speed while passing someone (though blah, blah, blah, we all do it).  But, to do so blatantly, when we are already going over the speed limit…  Again, I defer to my earlier comment re: stupid.  There isn’t anywhere you need to get that you need to get there that fast.  If so, leave earlier.  We got passed by people that continued on down the road doing easily 75 and 80 MPH.  Out of sight within minutes.  And what really set me off, was the number of people that did it.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been passed quite so many times on that stretch of highway.  Keeping in mind that we were already going over the speed limit.

My main reason for ranting about this is one - you make my travel more unsafe, you farking idiots.  Plus, it pisses me the hell off when I go to pass someone, and a person takes it upon themselves to pass me and the person in front of me at that same moment.  You’re just asking to cause an accident.  Two, I seriously worry about where we will be in a generation or two.  I know that in the grand scheme, this is a dumb one to worry about.  But, it is symptomatic of all the other crap we’re dealing with these days.  If you drive like an idiot, how does that reflect to your kids?  What lesson do they learn?  That it’s okay to drive how you want and tell the ones that are trying to be remotely safe to fark off?  Keep riding my ass on the highway, and one day I might just snap and slam on my brakes.  That’d suck for Mr. Idiot Driver Behind Me Who Needs a Crash Course In Traffic Protocols.  And if you need evidence, stop and really watch how kids drive these days.  I never even had a driver’s ed course, and I knew better than these kids do how to act in a car.

And now, for no reason, a video of my parents’ idiot dog attacking light:

Well, I was wrong.  This last day worked out a spot of all right.  Originally, my plan was to take an day of vacation to stay in Miami a day longer.  This went to suck when I found out the hotel we were up in for the conference was…outside my budget.  This forced me to find a different hotel for the final day.  So I sorta thought that the mess wasn’t going to hardly be worth it, as I’d have to pack, switch hotels, be away from the nice area I was in, etc.  As it turns out, I got to enjoy the afternoon all right.  When I got here, they didn’t have a room ready, so I was forced to amuse myself for a couple hours.

As it turned out, the hotel is on what they call the “Miracle Mile” in Coral Gables.  Plenty of shops and stuff (though most were closed on Sunday), but there was a Subway for an affordable lunch, and a car show taking place.  I also found a sushi place about 4 blocks from the hotel the guys from dotMarketing were telling me about called Sushi Maki.  That was dinner.  So I was able to get out and about a couple times, did plenty of walking, and got to enjoy the weather some more.  I also rode in a taxi for the first time.  It was anticlimactic.

I saw a bag lady uptown too.  I was going to take a picture, because I’d never seen an honest to goodness bag lady (she had about 20 garbage bags full of random goods, stacked very well).  I thought better of it, as I should probably respect her right to…well, live how she wants to live and not be bothered by a random, curious, small town tourist.  But, interesting nonetheless.  I also saw a Bentley, which I didn’t think “real” people “drove” in normal, everyday life.  And more small dogs.  What the hell is with the small dogs down here?

Anyway, to the topic of the previous three days, the conference was excellent.  DotMarketing treated us phenomenally.  For one, they hooked us up with some decent swag, including a nice messenger bag that I’ll be putting to use (free stuff is all it’s really about anyway ).  They took us out bowling in South Beach last night, which was by far and long the fanciest bowling alley I have ever seen.  The discussions I got to have face to face with their developers were invaluable.  All the guys and gals there are very easy to approach and talk with things about, which is great.  They also bowl better than me.  Except Lianis and David.  Sorry guys, but at least I can beat someone, heh.

Next year, I expect the conference will be a good deal bigger, with a little more diversity in experience levels and presentations from more people in the community.  If so, it would certainly get better and better. All around it was very well organized though, and the tracks were balanced so that at least I never had to argue between two sessions I wanted to go to (or not, were that the case).  The round table discussion I was in was very promising with respect to unifying and building the community of users that were here, and I think that will have a huge impact over the next year.

I’m excited to get back now and put to use some of what I learned and talked about.  That’s the mark of a good product and company in my opinion, that they can get you excited about stuff.  I don’t feel like I’m going back to fight a monster, just build one, heh.

So I will now sign off.  I leave in the morning, and will apparently have to fight some less than appealing weather when I get into KC.  Hopefully it all holds together long enough to get home.

Okay, time to back track and talk about the trip.  I did get the photo album posted last night, so you can look over what all went down.  There’s a lot of pictures there of Tulum.

Well, getting out wasn’t much of a problem.  The weather stayed relatively nice all the way down.  The only problem I really hit was after landing in Tampa, there was a traffic jam getting out of the airport that delayed me about two hours.  There was a bunch of us sitting in the shuttle pickup area, and you could see the cars in the round-a-bout area.  You could watch them for half an hour without seeing a single one even move.  So that was awfully frustrating.

But getting on the boat and everything was not too bad, aside from issues stemming from over-aggressive ID checking, which I mentioned the other day.  Oh, and they make you bind a credit card to your Sail & Sign card (basically your credit card/room key on the boat), which I personally think is dumb.  What’s wrong with cash?  I made the mistake of getting a Coke after I got on board because I was thirsty (of course, they had free sparkling wine on the deck, but little good that does me).  $2.00 for a can later, I decided I’d be sticking to free tea and fruit punch the rest of the trip.

Being on the boat isn’t that bad.  I, personally, had no problems with seasickness, and would say that while you can at times feel movement, for the most part you can’t hardly feel anything since it’s so big.  The problem is, while on the boat, there just isn’t much to do.  There’s a casino, where I turned $30 into $77.50 at Blackjack.  There are crappy stage shows in the evening.  There’s a small pool generally overrun by kids.  Or you can lay out on the deck or eat.  That’s about it.  Oh, there is a gym too, and that was alright.  As far as the other entertainment, you easily exhaust it in a day and end up spending a lot of time wandering the ship (not entirely because you are lost).

Something that is completely worthwhile, however, is the food.  While you pay for any drink beyond the basics (which does not include pop), food is completely free and always available.  There was a sushi bar open from 5:00 until 8:30 in the evenings which was okay.  Not as good as I’d expect though.  There’s 24 hour pizza and deli sandwiches.  Multiple buffets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  And best of all, gourmet dinners.  We’re talking shrimp, duck, lobster, fillet mignon,  chateaubriand and pork chops the size of my head.  I highly recommend the food.  And the servers are surprisingly pleasant and fun.  Far more of them are eastern European than I would have expected, too.  I probably ate my ticket price alone in food.

Excursions were alright.  Grand Cayman wasn’t particularly exciting.  We didn’t get to stay there long, it was cloudy, and the cab drivers are crazy.  I did go parasailing, which nearly made me sick.  It was a new experience though.  I also saw a random chicken running around in town.  Calica was put in place of Cozumel due to their hurricane damage.  We had all day there, and the Mayan ruins at Tulum were neat.  It’s a shame it’s such a tourist trap.  I spent more time beating off shop owners than anything. I much prefer traditional means of shopping over haggling, I don’t want to be hassled while I’m shopping.  What is crazy is how hot it is there in winter, and yet everyone works in jeans.  I can only imaging what summer is like.  Hooray for air conditioned buses.

I would not recommend the evening shows.  The singing…the dancing…let me be clear, I’m a theatre person, and I love a good show.  I also know bad singing and dancing when I see it.  And when a show is put together by someone without much of a theatre background, it’s very clear.  You’re better off dumping quarters into the slot machines.

I did make ample use of the gym, as well as the ice cream machine.  Granted, the two probably offset each other pretty evenly, but I think I’m okay with that.  I spent plenty of time just sleeping out on the deck too.  So much so, that there was actually a point where I no longer knew what day it was.  In that regard, it was a very relaxing vacation.  It’s also a good value, given how much food you (can) eat.  I’d probably do it again, but maybe without the excursions, just like 4 days at sea or something.  Better yet, just take everything in the boat, put it in a resort or something where it’s warm, and I’ll go there for a week.

Before I get to actually talking about the trip proper that I took, I want to take a post to do my customary travel diatribe.  I did this last year after a conference too, so you can consider this part two.

First off, I want to explain my discontent for Midwest airlines, when they turned a well timed, direct flight between MCI and TPA into a late night flight, with a layover in friggin’ Milwaukee. This discontent is only mildly offset by the fact that they serve actual, warm, homemade-ish cookies on their flights.  2 flights = 4 cookies.  But, I’m still pissed about the logistical changes, which required me to get a hotel after getting into Kansas City, because after the long day, I wasn’t about to tack on two and a half hours of driving at midnight on to it.

Furthermore, when I show up at your check in area, don’t make me stand there for half an hour until I get lucky and someone from Midwest happens to stroll by and notice that no one is attending to the check in terminals.  That is simply inexcusable.  At the very least put up a sign or something that says “Gone fishin’, sod off.” At least then I have an idea of what’s going on.

Travel security is becoming such a mockery of itself that I’m surprised people even take it seriously anymore.  Frankly, when people can purchase substantially dangerous plastic/fiberglass based knives, an old man next to me with a pocket knife simply isn’t that threatening.  In fact, given the attitude many TSA guys have, none of the given security measures gives me much comfort.  Yelling at people that they better drink up any water or pop they have doesn’t secure a plane, it makes the guy look like an asshole (and in all fairness, he was really being a jerk).   And could someone explain the logic behind having to pull out electronics larger than your palm to have them scanned separately?  Is a Blackberry or iPod simply less dangerous than a laptop?  Could a terrorist not use a smaller device for their sinister needs?  I would think by now they have seen enough laptops that pulling mine out shouldn’t be a big deal.

Now let’s talk about ID.  I experienced this both at the port and airport.  They check ID’s more than anyone should see logically necessary.  If you check my ID, then send me down a sealed hallway, what is the sense in checking it again at the other end.  Are you afraid someone might try to burrow through the wall and inject themselves into the flow without being noticed?  Likewise, if I can literally turn around and spit and the last person who checked my ID and boarding pass, you might want to consider if you’re aren’t being a little overkill.  I’m pretty damn sure a person can’t magically appear in the middle of the X-ray machine line without a boarding pass when they’ve already gone through two other checkpoints looking for the same thing.  Nor would they want to.

And I just feel bad for senior citizens.  When you are drawing AARP benefits, I think you should earn a pass on most all security checks.  Grandma Mabel in her wheelchair with an oxygen tank probably isn’t a drug mule or terrorist insurgent.  And even if they were, screw it, I’m happy to yield to their 65+ years on this planet and give more power to ‘em.  I think they have earned and deserve that dignity.  Anything less just shows blatant ignorance.

Oddly enough, coming through Customs was unusually painless.  Compared to airport security, I could have been hauling pure cut cocaine with my nose a bright, snowy white, and they wouldn’t have even bothered looking in my bags to check.  Though I did declare some snacks I got on the bus in Mexico, and he asked me what it was, and took my word for it.  That was good, because while I mentioned the chips and cupcake, I totally forgot to mention the crackers.  They might have held that against me.

This is just a note to my friends and readers that I will be leaving today for a little over a week  I’ll be out of the country for the holidays, and will be back the afternoon of the 28th.  If you try to call or e-mail me, there is a chance I won’t get back to you until then (I will be out of cell phone range the 22nd till the 27th, but otherwise can get calls at the start and end).  I don’t know if the ship will have some kind of internet or not, but I will try to hit a computer on the days we’re at port, if such is available.

As it is, I hate traveling, and at the moment I’m feeling rather not well.  Hopefully I’ll be doing better by Saturday.  At least I managed to pack 8 days worth of stuff into one bag, which certainly simplifies the trip.  By Buddha I better get some good sushi on the boat, heh.

Anyway, I hope things go well for everyone and that you have fun, and I’ll update you with new stuff after the holidays.